


Alcohol is NOT a Coping Mechanism

by Mixolydia



Series: 'Til Death Do Us Part [3]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: 10 Years After Everything Changed, 10 years later, Again, Alcohol, Alphys Lives at the Lab, Angst, Asgore Still Can't Name Things, Barrier Day, British English, Chara wasn't the First Human, Child Papyrus, Dadster, Drinking to Cope, Fluff, Flustered Grillby, GASTER NO, Gaster Tries To Be A Good Dad, Good W. D. Gaster, Grief, Grillby is Shy, Grillby's, Grillby's Backstory, Grillster, Hangover, I Broke My Own Heart When I Wrote This, Kinda, M/M, Mourning, SO SHY, Scientist W. D. Gaster, Sleepover at Undyne's!, Snowdin (Undertale), Souls, Suicidal Gaster, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Teen Sans - Freeform, The Core (Undertale), The Lab (Undertale), The Riverperson - Freeform, This is as close as Gaster gets to falling in the CORE in this AU, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Veteran Grillby, Whiskey - Freeform, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000, mostly angst, neither can I, soul bonds, teen undyne, too much whiskey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2019-03-11 01:31:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13513950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mixolydia/pseuds/Mixolydia
Summary: How does Gaster deal with the 10 year anniversary of Gill’s death, Papyrus’ birthday and Barrier day all on the same day?Simple. He doesn’t.





	Alcohol is NOT a Coping Mechanism

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Suicide Attempt

 Grillby leaned against the counter of his bar as he cleaned one of his many glasses when one of the regulars decided to turn the radio on by giving it a good thump. The radio crackled as the signal tried to connect. Signals were poor in the underground but a bright, young scientist had managed to stabilise a couple of signals that worked so far under a mountain. One was a general radio station and the other, which was what the radio was set to, was the official ‘royal announcements’ channel. The radio hadn’t been used since the last announcement. Grillby looked at the monster fiddling with the radio and raised an eyebrow.

“C’mon man, surely you know what today is?”

Grillby blinked once more and glanced over to the calendar on the wall. He gave out a small ‘ah’ noise when he realised the date. It was the 10th anniversary of the monsters being sealed underground.

“I heard that there was going to be an announcement on the royal channel today.” Said the regular as they gave the radio another thump and grinned when the radio finally sparked into life and a voice wafted over the air.

  
“…in other news, the King addressed the crowd in New Home earlier today. He started by saying that he was proud of his people and the way they were able to adapt despite the situation they found themselves in. He was also proud of the community and of the new CORE that was built to power all of the homes in the underground.“  The radio spluttered for a moment. “Although he was sad that there was no sign of escaping the mountain yet, he did report that the latest human that had found its way in had been dealt with by the Royal Guards and the human soul count was up to two. The crowd applauded when the King announced that the queen was expecting their first child, so there’s going to be an heir to the throne! Isn’t it exciting, folks?”

“Eey, that’s some good news at least!” One of the patrons yelled at from across the bar.

Grillby nodded, placing the glass on the counter.

“I heard the Royal Scientist never showed up for the speech though. What’s up with that?” The fish monster at the bar slurred.

Grillby raised an eyebrow.

“I assumed you’d know. I’ve seen the way you look at each other.”

Grillby blushed as his flames sparked pink. The regulars knew how Grillby felt for the skeleton who often popped in after work with his sons. Sadly for Grillby, Gaster was often busy with his work and sons to notice and Grillby was far too shy to ask the skeleton out, even if it was just for lunch.

Even Sans had teased Grillby when he’d come with Papyrus when their father was stuck at work and couldn’t get home.

Grillby’s flame died down slightly when he realised what this day meant to Gaster. To most monsters, it was just the day they’d been driven underground. To Gaster, it was also the anniversary of Gill’s death (when said skeleton had sacrificed his life so that Gaster and their unborn child could live) and the day Papyrus was born after a traumatic birth. It was Papyrus’ 10th Birthday and Grillby wasn’t sure how well Gaster would be handling this. Barrier Day (Asgore really needed to learn to name things, Grillby could only feel pity for the future heir) was generally a day off for the monsters, so Grillby hoped Gaster was at home with his sons.

Shutting the bar a couple of hours later, Grillby pulled on his coat and stepped into the freshly fallen snow of Snowdin, locking the bar door after him. Snow didn’t bother Grillby too much, but he hated passing through Waterfall where the threat of water was much greater. Walking towards Gaster’s house, he blinked as he saw two figures, one much smaller than the other, heading towards the pier. He was surprised to see it was Sans and Papyrus when he got close enough. He hurried over to the boys. Sans looked up at the fire elemental and grinned.

“Ey there, Grillby. Shut the bar early today?”

“Hi Sans. Yes, I figured that I could today.” He looked down at the young skeleton beside the teen’s side. “And hello to you too, Papyrus. Happy birthday!”

“Hi Mister Grillby! Thank you!” Papyrus giggled as he hid his face in his scarf. Grillby had to swallow a lump in his throat.

That was Gill’s scarf Papyrus was wearing.

“Boys, where is your father?”

“Dad?” Sans asked. “He’s been out of the house since he gave Pap his present this morning. I just assumed he went to work. I’m taking Pap to Undyne’s.”

“Yeah!” Papyrus shouted “It’s a birthday sleepover! Dad rang Undyne’s mom last week and arranged it all! There’s gonna be cake an’ everything!”

“I’m going too.” Sans grinned “Even if it’s just to make sure nothing blows up.”

“Sounds like fun.” Grillby smiled. “I assume you’re taking the boat over there?”

Both boys nodded.

“Then I’ll walk you there.”

* * *

 

Grillby smiled as he waved the boys off, then frowned as he waited for the boat to come back to take him to Hotland. Gaster had sent the boys to Undyne’s under the guise of a sleepover. This meant sure the boys would be fine but it had also left Gaster free to do whatever he felt like that day. Free… and alone. Grillby knew that Gaster could very well be wallowing in his own self-pity (and for good reason, Grillby thought) but he didn’t want the skeleton to be alone today of all days.

Leaving a couple of coins in the box, Grillby stepped off the boat and onto the dry ground that was Hotland. He could see the CORE in the distance, less than a year old that point. The whole underground had celebrated and Gaster had been hailed as a hero when it was complete. Walking forward, Grillby took a right at the junction and soon found himself at the lab. He knocked on the door and waited, wondering if anyone had actually come into work.

He flinched slightly when the door to the lab slid open a couple of minutes later and he glanced down. There was a young, yellow lizard standing in the doorframe tapping her claws together and he couldn’t help but notice she was shaking slightly.

“H-hi there! C-can I h-help you…?”

“Hello. I was wondering if Gaster might be here. I ran into his sons earlier and they mentioned he’d been at work since this morning.”

“O-oh! Sure! I-I haven’t seen h-him all day, b-b-but I did s-see him f-first thing t-this morning. I-I practically l-live here s-so… i-if you j-just follow m-me mister…?”

“Oh. I’m sorry, my name is Grillby.”

“O-oh! Y-you’re the bartender f-from Snowdin! D-Dr. Gaster has s-spoken about y-you a few t-times! I’m A-Alphys, one o-of the scientists t-that work u-under Dr. G-gaster. ”

Grillby followed her through the corridors. “Nice to meet you, Alphys. He really spoke about me..?”

“O-Oh yes! H-he says you’re r-really nice a-and his s-sons love you!”

Grillby’s flames turned pink. “Thank you.”

She smiled as they reached the door of his office. “I-I haven’t seen much of him t-today though. I-I’ve been cooped up in m-my room and t-there’s not many of us h-here  to s-start with.”

She raised her fist and knocked on the door, frowning after a while as the knock went unanswered. She gave another knock then, after no reply, tapped in a code and the door slid open.

“I-I often h-have to go i-into his o-office otherwise h-he’d just l-lock himself in t-there for d-days.”

Grillby nodded as they stepped through the door. A couple of odd things hit Grillby as he looked around. One was that Gaster was nowhere to be found in the office and the other was that it looked like a bomb had it. Papers were strewn all over the floor and desk and even Gaster’s chair had been knocked over, as if he had left in a hurry. Grillby’s nose twitched as he picked up on the scent of alcohol in the room. He wasn’t sure if Alphys could smell it, but she knew once she’d gone around the other side of the desk only to find a empty bottle of whiskey on the floor. She picked it up gently and gave it a once over before turning to Grillby with wide eyes. Neither monster knew quite what to say when an intern walked by the door of the office.

“…are you guys alright?” The wax-like monster asked.

“U-uh…we uh… w-we were looking f-for Dr. G-Gaster. H-have you seen h-him?”

“Oh yeah.” The monster tapped its chin. “He left about oh… two hours ago maybe? I believe he headed in the direction of the CORE?”

“W-was he alright…?”

“Now that you mention it, he did seem a bit shaky on his feet. I just chalked it up to him being him, though.”

Alphys looked at the empty bottle still clutched between her claws, then to Grillby.

“You don’t think?” “S-surely, he c-can’t…!”

Grillby took one look at the worried face of Alphys and took off out of the lab and headed straight for the CORE, dodging around the workers who were currently building the MTT Hotel and almost tripping over some wires. He dodged around builders who yelled at him angrily as he rounded the corner of the corridor that led to the outside walkways. He only slowed down when he stepped out onto a walkway that was suspended over the magma that powered the CORE. Grillby may have been made of fire, but the elemental didn’t want to think about what might happen if he fell into the magma below. He spotted Gaster further ahead of him, lent over one of the railing, staring down to the magma below.

“It’s funny…” Gaster whispered and Grillby realised that he must’ve heard him. “Ten years have passed… just like that. We’ve built settlements, made homes for ourselves, managed to have a regular food source…. Hell, we’ve even managed to build a castle down here! We now have a power supply so monsters can live more comfortably! Papyrus grows more and more like his father everyday… Everyone seems to have been able to move on from being sealed in… so, why can’t I?”

Grillby swallowed.

“Ten years…and I still grieve for my soul mate. My soul feels like it’s shattering a little more each day. My sons can only keep me together for so long.” Gaster placed a foot on the railing. “Hell, I spend more time at work than I do with them! Sans is a great young skeleton who had too grow up too fast… I regret that, you know.”

Grillby moved towards Gaster.

“I regret spending too much time at work, but the underground needed power… now that the CORE is complete… what do I do now?” Gaster hoisted himself up onto the railing, hanging onto a support beam. “My sons don’t need me, my King won’t need me… Not even you need me anymore.”

“Gaster…” Grillby reached out to him.

“Ten years and…” Gaster looked over his shoulder. “I’ve isolated myself from everyone I care about. No-one needs me…”

Grillby had to swallow the lump in his throat.

Gaster looked at the lava below. “The grief is as raw as that day. I should’ve died along with Gill.”

He jumped.

Grillby let out a cry of alarm and threw himself against the railing, reaching out and barely catching Gaster by the collar. He grunted as he hung onto Gaster with one hand and the railing with another. Slowly, painfully, he dragged Gaster up; hooking his other arm under Gaster’s armpits, dragging him over the railing and they both fell back onto the walkway, wheezing and panting for breath. Gaster curled up onto himself and he rolled off Grillby, who was lying there, slightly in shock and waiting for his brain to process just what the hell had happened. He glanced over to the skeleton lying beside him and he flushed blue. Anger quickly turned to anger though as he saw what state Gaster was in. The skeleton was now lying fast first on the walkway and was mumbling to himself. Grillby sat up and grabbed the skeleton, rolling him over who had scrunched his eyes shut.

“Gaster! What the hell were you thinking?” Grillby all but yelled at him.

Gaster winced and covered his eyes with an arm “…I…”

“Were you that desperate to end it all?” Grillby growled “To leave the boys without a father!?”

“…I… I just wanted to end it!” Gaster whimpered. “It’s been ten years…the pain is still raw and I…It hurts, Grillby! It hurts so much and I can’t deal with this anymore!”

Grillby sighed and pulled Gaster up and into his arms. The skeleton sobbed and clung to Grillby’s vest as the tears poured out of him. Grillby didn’t even flinch as he felt the tears soak through his vest.

“I’m a terrible father! The boys never see me, I’m always at work…you never see me, despite being one of my closest friends… and today I spent all day locked in my office, at WORK, trying to drown out my sorrows instead of spending it with my son on his special day! I couldn’t face it and I sent them to Undyne’s…”

Grillby just held the skeleton and rubbed soothing notions into his back as the skeleton went on and on. Grillby only looked down when Gaster went quiet and Grillby realised the poor man had cried himself to sleep. He sighed and stood up, taking Gaster with him bridal style and began the trip back to Snowdin.

* * *

 

Gaster woke up with a groan in a soft, fluffy bed with a raging headache. He blinked at the artificial light streaming in through the window and he realised he wasn’t in his own bed as he always had the curtains shut. He attempted to sit up but a shooting pain shot across his head and he collapsed back into the pile of pillows with a groan. His stomach was churning but he managed to breathe through the nausea before managing to doze off once more.

Sometime later, Gaster woke up when he felt someone gently nudging him. His eyes slowly blinked open as a warm glow came into view.

“Grillby…?”

“Hello Gaster. How are you feeling?” He whispered, taking a seat on the bed. He put a glass of water on the side table, along with painkillers.

“I uh… I feel like the King ran me over and then threw me out the window. Quite possibly in that order. Where am I…?”

“You’re in my spare bedroom… I didn’t want to leave you alone, the state you were in yesterday…”

“Oh…” Gaster turned to look at the window and noticed the light was dimming. “What did I say? I can’t remember…”

“You…” Grillby took the skeletons hands in his own, causing Gaster to jump and stare at the elemental “You were going on about how monsters have managed to move on and make the best of their situation and that you couldn’t understand why you couldn’t… Gaster, you jumped off the railing! I barely managed to catch you!”

“Oh, oh god…” Gaster flushed a dark shade of purple. “I’m so sorry, Grillby. I never… I never wanted to startle you like that…”

“…how would I have been able to face the boys if I hadn’t caught you?”

“I’m sorry!” Gaster blurted out, burying his face in his hands “I’m sorry, I didn’t…I didn’t think anyone cared that much about me…”

“I care, Gaster.”

“…what?” Gaster stared at the elemental.

  
“I care. I’ve cared about you a lot… and I have done for a long time…” Grillby mumbled, flushing pink and looking away.

Gaster blinked, then took one of Grillby’s hands in his own. “…Grillby, how long are we talking?”

“…since before you even met Gill.” He glanced at Gaster and blinked at the look of surprise on the skeleton’s face. “Back when… I was in training and you used to frequent my Uncle’s bar on the surface, I would see you speaking to your friends. I was always too shy to come and say hello until that day you came over to me. Do you remember?”

Gaster could only nod.

“You were so kind to me and so understanding, you were so patient when I kept tripping over my own words. Your smile dazzled me and my soul fluttered. It… it was probably that day when I fell in love with you. My shyness got in the way of telling you though and then… then you met Gill. He came in with my squad one day and you both just _clicked._ I couldn’t take that away from you. I was happy when you got married and I loved being Sans’ godfather.”

Gaster’s throat was dry, so he took a drink of water.

“After Gill died and we ended up down here… you threw yourself into your work and I was distracted by my uncle, who wanted to teach me how to be a bartender. He was getting old and wanted someone to carry on his line of work. It was something for me to do after my work as a general ended. You were there on the day the bar opened and I was so happy to see you again… you used to stop by a lot but your visits petered out and before long I saw Sans and Papyrus more and more. I didn’t want to distract you from work though, or the friendship we had so I stayed silent…”

Gaster just stared in surprise, a look of disbelief on his face. Firstly, because he’d never heard the elemental speak for so long and secondly, how the _hell_ had he not noticed or picked up on it? Gaster felt guilty that he’d been so ignorant; especially since those early days of the bar opening and he’d visit there with his sons. He’d admired the elemental’s way of working and noticed the flair and grace Grillby had when mixing drinks. It was as Grillby said though, work and the CORE had taken over his life and he found himself with less and less free time. The CORE was finished though, so maybe…

He reached out and ran a finger over Grillby’s cheek.

“I’m sorry, I never knew… why didn’t you…”

“I told you, I couldn’t…”

“I know, but if you’d just spoken up then you wouldn’t have had to suffer all this time…”

“Gaster…?” Grillby turned his head towards the skeleton, confused.

 “I’m a fool, Grillby. I’m a fool and I never even realised that until now.”

Gaster lent forward, grabbing Grillby’s vest and pulled him towards him as he closed the gap between them. Grillby pulled away first, his flames sparking in pink and purple. Gaster smiled and then chuckled.

“I may not have felt the same for quite as long but I do like you Grillby. Very much so, and… Gill wouldn’t want me to mope around for the rest of my life. It’s already been ten years and he’d want me to move on. I’ll never forget him but with time… maybe we can heal this broken soul of mine, together.”

Grillby smiled and cradled Gaster’s head in his head “We can take it as slow as you want.”

“…I’d like that.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> I swear, this next thing I write is gonna be FLUFF. NOTHING BUT FLUFF.
> 
> My heart can't take this!
> 
> Also of note: This draft of this story was only 2,000 words.


End file.
